An Endless Renewable Resource
We all know someone who has ended a relationship, lost a loved one, or has been emotionally hurt by someone in their life. This has been on my mind lately because a dear friend of mine just ended a marriage and is in the process of rebuilding her life. I look back at my own journey when my marriage ended 10 years ago – what I went through, the highs and lows … the lessons I learned. It took me 10 years to figure this out … but the latest discovery I have had in my own life and what I am helping my friend realize is that Love is a renewable resource.
How many times have you hear someone (or yourself) say “I don’t think I can ever love again!” How many people in your life have shut down and refuse to open up and allow someone new in? If we take a step back and think about it … why would you refuse yourself the feeling of loving another? It is not like you can stop yourself from loving … how many things do you love? A Dog, Cat, Mom, Dad, Siblings, Car, Book, Movie, Best Friend … no matter how hard you try … you cant “stop” loving.
So what does this accomplish – the act of protecting yourself from loving or being loved. Sounds more like an oxymoron to me – how can you protect yourself from something that makes your life better/happier/healthier? When I hear “I will never love again” … what I hear are people who stick their head in the sand and withdraw into their own world thinking they are protecting themselves. But lets think about it this way … when a turtle pulls everything into its shell to protect itself from threat – how far can it go?
Protecting yourself is smart – it is necessary in order to be successful in life, but be smart with action. Decisions you make, behaviors you allow, boundaries you set – these are all protective measures you take for yourself. They help you maximize life by allowing you the freedom to focus on productive actions to build successful relationships.
With every emotion life has to offer – with every disappointment, heartbreak, tragedy, uncertainty, happiness, joy, dream, hope, and love (lost and found) – I learn a little more about myself. I find strength within me that I never knew existed before. Life’s experiences change and mold me. But, more importantly, they define who I am.
What are your boundaries … what are the behaviors that matter most to you? Tell us about your relationship successes and lessons learned.