An Endless Renewable Resource

We all know someone who has ended a relationship, lost a loved one, or has been emotionally hurt by someone in their life.  This has been on my mind lately because a dear friend of mine just ended a marriage and is in the process of rebuilding her life.  I look back at my own journey when my marriage ended 10 years ago – what I went through, the highs and lows … the lessons I learned.  It took me 10 years to figure this out … but the latest discovery I have had in my own life and what I am helping my friend realize is that Love is a renewable resource.

How many times have you hear someone (or yourself) say “I don’t think I can ever love again!”  How many people in your life have shut down and refuse to open up and allow someone new in?  If we take a step back and think about it … why would you refuse yourself the feeling of loving another?  It is not like you can stop yourself from loving … how many things do you love?  A Dog, Cat, Mom, Dad, Siblings, Car, Book, Movie, Best Friend … no matter how hard you try … you cant “stop” loving.

So what does this accomplish – the act of protecting yourself from loving or being loved.  Sounds more like an oxymoron to me – how can you protect yourself from something that makes your life better/happier/healthier?  When I hear “I will never love again” … what I hear are people who stick their head in the sand and withdraw into their own world thinking they are protecting themselves.  But lets think about it this way … when a turtle pulls everything into its shell to protect itself from threat – how far can it go?

Protecting yourself is smart – it is necessary in order to be successful in life, but be smart with action.  Decisions you make, behaviors you allow, boundaries you set – these are all protective measures you take for yourself.  They help you maximize life by allowing you the freedom to focus on productive actions to build successful relationships.

I ran across a blog by Tracy Todd this past week … her post Heart Running Free was a great read and this quote helped me realize things in my own life:

With every emotion life has to offer – with every disappointment, heartbreak, tragedy, uncertainty, happiness, joy, dream, hope, and love (lost and found) – I learn a little more about myself.  I find strength within me that I never knew existed before.  Life’s experiences change and mold me.  But, more importantly, they define who I am.

What are your boundaries … what are the behaviors that matter most to you?  Tell us about your relationship successes and lessons learned.